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  • Life, and Nothing More...

    Life, and Nothing More...

    ★★★★½

    “No one appreciates youth until they grow old...or life until they stare death in the face. If the dead could come back and live again, they’d surely live better lives.”

    For the first 40 minutes or so I loved it, but I wasn’t completely sure if I was going to like it as much as Where Is My Friends House?. However, as the film progressed, something clicked and I thought to myself “wait, this is actually really clever”.

    It uses Abbas…

  • The Elephant Man

    The Elephant Man

    ★★★★½

    “I am not an animal! I am a human being!”

    The Elephant Man is the definitive litmus test for empathy. If you watch this and don’t feel something from deep within yourself...then there may be an issue...

    I haven’t seen this in probably close to a decade, but I do know that it was one of the first films I watched that actually made me bawl. I remember having to pause the movie at the scene where Merrick meets Treve’s…

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  • Wrong Turn

    Wrong Turn

    ★★½

    I spent $5.99 on this SH*T

    HERE IS A LIST of things that made me want my money back, ranked from least to most for the specific amount of $ it made me want a refund for:

    $0.20 - the first jump scare of the girl slipping down the hill. She slipped literally an inch. And they tried to do a jump scare with it.

    $0.25 - homophobia for killing the gay person first.

    $0.75 - the scene where they have…

  • Crash

    Crash

    ★★★½

    “The reshaping of the human body by modern technology.”

    This has been the most anticipated film on my watchlist for a looong time, and I fully expected this to be one of my favorite (if not my favorite) Cronenberg films. It just seemed like the kind of movie I was going to love completely...

    I liked it, but I didn’t love it as much as I hoped. I was really struggling to connect to the film itself, despite loving specific…

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  • Countdown

    Countdown

    ½

    I told Siri to pick a number between 1-5. She chose 2 so I will now set a timer for two minutes. I will write the rest of this review in the allotted time until my countdown reaches zero:


    It’s no surprise that this movie is garbage. It goes down the checklist of horror clichés without fail.

    It’s not even remotely interesting, as it was extremely difficult for me to stay awake during. Honestly, the whole movie is just wack.…

  • The Call of the Wild

    The Call of the Wild

    ★½

    My brother (who is 28 I believe) does not watch movies. We are not alike.  

    One time he told me he hates “fake” movies because they’re all the same and are stupid.  He only watches movies based on true stories or are about hunting/fishing or the wilderness in general.  It’s a sad existence, I know.  It makes me even sadder knowing this is the movie that’s gonna make him go to the theater to watch a movie since perhaps The Revenant in 2015.

    Somehow I feel like my brother isn’t even going to realize the dog is CGI.

    Oh, also the movie isn’t great.