“Ever so slightly I could smell Big Kitten in the wind...”
This review has spoilers in it, so beware...but does it matter? Do you REALLY want to see this? Like actually? Look me in my digital eyes 👀 and honestly tell me you want to see A Dog’s Way Home. I assure you that you don’t.
Last week I gave Escape Room a 0.5/5, and I’ll admit I don’t think it was actually that bad, I was just super annoyed.…
I told Siri to pick a number between 1-5. She chose 2 so I will now set a timer for two minutes. I will write the rest of this review in the allotted time until my countdown reaches zero:
It’s no surprise that this movie is garbage. It goes down the checklist of horror clichés without fail.
It’s not even remotely interesting, as it was extremely difficult for me to stay awake during. Honestly, the whole movie is just wack.…
“To all those whose brains will decompose before their hearts.”
Definitely a different and slower experience than I’m used to from Noé which caught me off guard a little. I didn’t go into it expecting it to be so slice-of-lifey, but I’m not complaining - it works incredibly well. It’s totally engrossing, and the split-screen was clever and utilized in a way that didn’t feel gimmicky…it only added to the quiet, and helpless heartbreak that Vortex is going for. Bleak,…
Just the presence of Ed and Lorraine at the start fills the movie with a sense of false comfort because it makes you feel like the rest film will be in good hands.
From the start, it begs you to think back and reflect on the good times you had watching The Conjuring films. Don’t be fooled, however. It is undoubtably closer in tone and craftsmanship to the spinoff films, rather than The Conjuring films.
There’s poor writing and awful…
