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  • Brahms: The Boy II

    Brahms: The Boy II

    ★½

    Literally no one asked for this movie...

    Actually, scratch that. If any of you watched The Boy in 2016 and thought to yourself “wow this is a movie that needs a sequel” please raise your hand. I’m genuinely curious to know if anyone at all wanted it. If so, I will officially recant my original statement.

    The main kid actor doesn’t even speak for 95% of this movie and I still didn’t like his performance. Didn’t really like anyone’s performance…

  • The Turning

    The Turning

    ½

    After hearing about how bad the movie was, I started my viewing with extremely low expectations. So, for the first 10 or so minutes I found myself surprised, and slightly disappointed, by the fact that I didn’t think it was THAT bad. I was thinking about how it could be much worse, so I then prepared myself for a very mediocre and below-average January horror attempt (but I really thought I wasn’t going to hate it).

    As the movie kept…

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  • Perfect Blue

    Perfect Blue

    ★★★½

    I’m not entirely sure whether or not I was supposed to understand what was going on the entire time, but I didn’t...which is absolutely not a bad thing.  However, in order for me to say I loved this movie I think a second viewing is required.  So until I give it another watch one day and raise my score, I’m just going to leave this here.

    It’s really really good, however.  I just need it to personally click with me a little more before I rate it higher.

  • The Call of the Wild

    The Call of the Wild

    ★½

    My brother (who is 28 I believe) does not watch movies.  We are not alike.  One time he told me he hates “fake” movies because they’re all the same and are stupid.  He only watches movies based on true stories or are about hunting/fishing or the wilderness in general.  It’s a sad existence, I know.  It makes me even sadder knowing this is the movie that’s gonna make him go to the theater to watch a movie since perhaps The Revenant in 2015.

    Somehow I feel like my brother isn’t even going to realize the dog is CGI.

    Oh, also the movie isn’t great.

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  • Annabelle Comes Home

    Annabelle Comes Home

    ★★

    Just the presence of Ed and Lorraine at the start fills the movie with a sense of false comfort because it makes you feel like the rest film will be in good hands. From the start, it begs you to think back and reflect on the good times you had watching The Conjuring films. Don’t be fooled, however. It is undoubtably closer in tone and craftsmanship to the spinoff films, rather than The Conjuring films.

    There’s poor writing and awful…

  • Serenity

    Serenity

    ½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    First of all, WHAT.

    Second of all, I can’t believe this was an actual movie.

    Third of all, WHAT??

    Serenity is one of the most insane messes I’ve watched in a while. I have A LOT of random thoughts on this movie. I’ll be spewing incoherent thoughts in this review to pay homage to how incoherent and convoluted this film is.  

    The spoilers start down below, so feel free to read what’s above the line, though, I warn you…