Alex Falcon

Alex Falcon


i exist only to let movies happen in front of me

Favorite films

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Pinned reviews

  • Tenet



    Early on in Tenet, Christopher Nolan (not so subtly) speaks directly to the audience, providing what is essentially his thesis for the film.

    “Don’t try to understand it. Feel it.”

    If this is how Nolan wants the audiences to experience Tenet, then no matter how you view it, this movie is a failure.

    Let’s start with the second part of that statement – “Feel it.” I genuinely wonder what emotion Nolan wants the audience to feel during this – the…

  • Cats


    The Definitive Ranking of the Jellicle Cats
    Note: Only Jellicle Cats who sing a song are eligible.

    13. Taylor Swift Cat (Bombalurina) - This cat has the least screen time of any cat, so she was inherently at a disadvantage and would have to do a lot with her screen time to make an impact. However, she spends all of her time singing a song introducing a male cat who we already knew for the entire movie. Is this what…

Recent reviews

  • The Wolf Man

    The Wolf Man


    say the werewolf poem again i dare you

  • Gremlins 2: The New Batch

    Gremlins 2: The New Batch


    Me: “Say it.”
    Martin Scorsese: “But-“
    Me: “SAY IT.”
    Martin Scorsese: “Gremlins 2: The New Batch is what cinema strives to be. It uses every aspect of the form to create an impeccable rollercoaster ride of laughs, emotional engagement, and visual splendor. Every other film in existence is just a dumb stupid carnival ride except Gremlins 2, which is better than all my movies combined”
    *I holster my gun*
    Me: “lol no way I totally agree”

    The Year of the Rewatch

Popular reviews

  • Bad Ben 7: The Haunted Highway

    Bad Ben 7: The Haunted Highway


    What’s in the bag?”
    ”Oh you know, it’s just stuff.”
    ”Did something move in there? What is that?”
    ”It’s just stuff, you know, like I said”

    Did you think you knew the Bad Ben franchise? Thought Nigel Bach couldn’t possibly make a seventh masterpiece? Well guess what you fucking idiot? You’re so fucking wrong.

    The Haunted Highway, the seventh installment in the greatest franchise of all time, feels very different than its predecessors, mainly because it is the first film to not…

  • Steelmanville Road

    Steelmanville Road


    This used to be my favorite of the Bad Ben series, but on rewatch I couldn’t help but compare to the much more Nigel-centric entries and found this one lacking. Elijah and Mona are highlights of the the series and I love how this movie bends over backwards to explain every little detail of the original, but it just doesn’t have the same whimsical tone that the rest of the series has. Still iconic, but I think this has moved down to the #4 position. 

    Bad Ben Ranked

    The Year of the Rewatch