When the ramen sensei said “I want you to quietly apologize to the pork”, I knew I’d finally found the title of my sex tape.

God gives his most virulent trypanosomiasis to his tiredest sleepyheads.

Yeah alright, fuck it:

MASTERING THE FART OF FRENCH COOKING

Yes, yes cello-wrap me head to toe Penelope, that’s right, bind me helpless to my worst frenemy, oh yes, make us watch Penelope, yes, watch while you violently destroy the tokens our ego, that’s right, watch them crumble to pieces while we impotently scream, oh that’s the stuff Penelope, yes, yes, yes.

Anya. ANYA. Chess and addiction are NOT LIVING DELICIOUSLY GIRL. Black Phillip owes you a refund.

These are the worst people I’ve ever met. I want to travel the world with them.