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  • The Giant Spider Invasion

    The Giant Spider Invasion

    ★★★½

    Giant Bugs

    The main thrust of Giant Spider Invasion follows a family of hicks living in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin. A more unpleasant and frankly, filthy, family would be difficult to imagine. The patriarch is Kester, an overweight, middle-aged farmer sporting a goatee and a girdle. He divides his time between verbally abusing his wife, making passes at his sister-in-law, screwing a local prostitute, and cultivating a crop of marijuana on his land. His wife, Ev, who gives as…

  • The Tingler

    The Tingler

    ★★★★½

    Giant Bugs

    There is more to Castle than mere Hitckcock’s copycat, in many ways the director was wildly ahead of his time with his use of meta-theatricality and audience participation. Had Castle been putting on unwatchable adaptations of Greek drama with copious nudity (al la Dionysius in ‘69) he would be praised as a visionary by snobby critics/scholars and studied by bored college students in especially pretentious theater classes. Fortunately for all of us, Castle made art that is actually enjoyable to watch.

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  • Elves

    Elves

    ★★

    X-Mas Horror

    The Nazi master plan makes no sense whatsoever, particularly when the relevant historical information is considered. Most obviously is the question of why the Nazis would want to crossbreed humans with elves to create a new master race. The Nazis already thought they were the master race, and were worried about diluting their pure Aryan blood with lesser stock. Interbreeding with monsters is exactly the kind of thing they would be against.

    Read the full review here.

  • Don't Open Till Christmas

    Don't Open Till Christmas

    ★½

    X-Mas Horror

    Despite all the murders of men dressed as Santa Claus, nobody seems at all worried to go out dressed as Old Saint Nick. I can understand having to wear it as part of your work, but come on, at least take it off before you go to the strip club.

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