Imagine if Seijun Suzuki's punishment for his insolence of continuous indulgence in irreverence was to exile him from yakuza flicks and to instead make a Godzilla Vs Monster Zero knock off for six year olds. Only for him to immediately be back on his bullshit with a cheeky candy store colored giant monster farce. Just think of Gamera in the Joe Shishido role. Stoically delivering slabs of over the top comedy violence. He even rubs his cheeks!
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Land of the Dead 2005
Romero having to conform to aughts era Hollywood nu-metal horror to finally make his long awaited fourth Dead flick came together like a peanut butter and sushi sandwich. The rapid fire plotting that doesn't let an ounce of atmosphere sink in, the eyesore CGI gore, plastic video game violence, the 'just the fact's ma'am' flat cinematography... Sure, Universal rushed the movie through production but you'd think that George had thought up a few magic moments during the twenty year gap…
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City of the Living Dead 1980
"Suicidal Preacher - Hangs Himself - Unfaithful Servant - Goes Straight To Hell!"
Italian horror movies are pretty open to the fact that they exist completely outside of reality. Some say they're unbothered by reason but that's a massive understatement. These movies have madness in their very DNA. Sculpted with hazy, phantasmagoria and adorned in gruesome, blunt force shocks. No point in burdening yourself in prose when you can craft vile, nightmare poetry with reckless abandon. Character arcs, plot development,…
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