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  • Chicken Run

    Chicken Run

    ★★★★★

    Have you ever seen someone on fire? Not just a piece of their clothing but the entire body engulfed in flames. 

    The thing people will say is that “oh no one tells you about the smell, the burnt hair, the charred meat” but what people won’t ever admit is how good it smells. It feels very very good seeing someone on fire. Because it’s not you on fire and it’s nice to feel better off than someone else. 

    It feels…

  • Bratz: Rock Angelz

    Bratz: Rock Angelz

    ★★★★★

    WE FORGET THAT JEANS DON’T HAVE TO “FIT” THE WAY WE “THINK” THEY NEED TO FIT. LIKE I’VE SAID BEFORE, NOT EVERYTHING THAT “BENDS” NEEDS TO “BREAK” AND THERE ISN’T ANY GOD TO TELL US WE CAN’T. EARLY 2000’S STYLE IS RAVISHING TO THE POINT WHERE I WANT TO “BE” A BRATZ DOLL. CAN I PLEASE? I WOULD JUST LOVE TO WALK DOWN THE STREET IN MY EARLY 2000’S STYLE.

    EARLY 2000’S STYLE IS HARD TO PULL OFF. DO NOT…

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  • Stuart Little 2

    Stuart Little 2

    ★★★★★

    When my father would take me out to the movies, he'd whisper in my ear before we sat down.

    "Don't you embarrass me. Don't you fucking embarrass me."

    When we went to go see Stuart Little 2, there was a couple in the back of the theater. Any time Stuart came on screen, the girl started crying. The boy offered no solace.

    "Don't you piss in those Goddamn pants," my father whispered. "your mother died in those fucking pants."

    Sometimes,…

  • Underdog

    Underdog

    ★★★★★

    Been a few weeks since I’ve been awake I’m sorry for  haven’t been reviewing more fim.

    When my wife first told me that she’d been fucking other men, I called her a dog to her face. 

    “You don’t know what kind of pressure I’m under.” she told me. “They’re asking for more teeth. They’re asking for more teeth. They’re asking for more TEETH! THEY’RE ASKING FOR MORE TEETH! THEY’RE ASKING FOR MORE TEETH! theyre asking for more teeth!”

    I first…