Tom Jones ★★½

48/100

Bum, ba dum. Bum, ba dum.
Bum, ba dum. Bum, ba dum.
Bum, ba dum. Bum, ba dum.
Bum, ba dum. Bum, ba dum.

It's not unusual for Best Picture champs to suck.
It's not unusual for these Oscar champs to suck.
And Henry Fielding's novel is picaresque as fuck.
It's not unusual they made it bland.
(And secondhand.)

It's not unusual a film can't approximate
Uniquely literary virtues that make prose great.
Just winking at the camera this won't alleviate.
It's not unusual, just leave books on the page.
(And likewise plays onstage.)

You'll find it happens all the time.
Adaptations fail. Picture books in braille.
Originality's subliiiiiiime!

It's not unusual to think Albert Finney's swell.
It's not unusual to find young Ms. York très belle.
But as for Richardson, I prefer Mademoiselle.
It's not unusual that I just lied to make that rhyme! Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa...