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  • Kingsman: The Secret Service

    Kingsman: The Secret Service

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Aside from the yawnful Good-Guys-White / Bad-Guys-Other-Colours casting, this was a surprisingly enjoyable action flick... until it fucked out in the third act.

    It was partly the utterly weird special effects. Partly that they sent their only lady-spy off into space 'cos no plot for her. But mostly because of a series of gags right near the end in which the only moral (blonde, beautiful) hold-out amongst the captured guests offers our hero ass-sex if he sets her free.

    Don't…

  • Paddington

    Paddington

    ★★★★★

    I just couldn't find anything wrong with this. And now I'm off to make some marmalade.