• Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick

    Can’t take my mind off how uncannily Miles Teller resembles Anthony Edwards, with only a tidy moustache and sunglasses to do it. Very nicely done there. Lots of fan service, lots of BIG PRINT as dialogue (“Don’t think, just do” is the new “Don’t try to understand it, feel it”), and a totally unsubtle use of US Naval technological advancements to argue for CINEMA, BABYYYYY. Less sexy all round (come for the middle-aged lovemaking scene, stay for the soft-focus chit-chat).…

  • Blue Velvet

    Blue Velvet

    An alternative account of the great Heineken vs PBR wars of 1986.

  • Le Bonheur

    Le Bonheur

    Agnès invented daylight horror when Francois said “I want you, but I don’t like nighttime here.”

  • RRR



    “Let me get my things.”
    Her things: small purse, large straw hat, box brownie camera. 

    An absolute banger from start to finish.

    I’m seeing Top Gun: Maverick later this week and already feel sorry for it. Unless Le Cruise fights a tiger, wins a dance competition, concocts a natural antidote to snake venom and takes on the American military industrial complex with his frequently shirtless BFF, I don’t wanna know about it.

  • 10 Things I Hate About You

    10 Things I Hate About You

    High school women can
    Be feminists and also
    Like boys

  • The Conversation

    The Conversation

    I think Harry Caul was once somebody’s baby boy, and he had a mother and a father who loved him, and now there he is, noodling on his saxophone and adjusting auxiliary inputs and tweaking microphones and planting bugs and going to confession and paying rent. And where are his mother or his father, all his uncles now?

  • Senior Year

    Senior Year

    The way I saw this through to the end to see if it might get any better…

  • The Piano Teacher

    The Piano Teacher

    Well she said Schubert isn't a walk in the park.

  • Se7en



    Five stars for the Bach in the library alone.

  • The Phantom of the Open

    The Phantom of the Open

    More films about ordinary people who are a bit shit at fancy things but give them a crack anyway, please.

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    Claes BANG.

  • How to Please a Woman

    How to Please a Woman

    Five stars for every one of Josh Thomson’s facial reactions. Be nice to have a gang of lady ocean swimmers. 

    (It’s all fun and games when the story is about male sex workers and women’s unmet needs… just saying… but extremely sweet and good-natured and often funny Aussie corker of a comedy.)