Colette Arrand

An enigmatic warrior who marches to the beat of her own drum.

Favorite films

  • Beauty and the Beast
  • Desperate Living
  • Total Recall
  • Mikey and Nicky

Recent activity

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  • The Fifth Element

    ★★★½

  • Joker

    ★★

  • RoboCop

    ★★★★★

  • Nope

    ★★★★½

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Recent reviews

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  • The Fifth Element

    The Fifth Element

    ★★★½

    Fully recognize that had I rented this from Blockbuster Video while I was in middle school, as God intended, this would be in the pantheon with Super Mario Brothers. From a “it’s 2022 and my least favorite person in Athens has chosen to sit directly behind me despite our mutually existing in a big-ass park” perspective, it was still pretty good.

  • Joker

    Joker

    ★★

    Less than a heartless plundering of 70s crime dramas, Joker is an inelegant pastiche of recent Batman tropes, shot with the sensibility of an over-budget music video. 

    How anybody could ask “how can Todd Phillips make Joker 2 a musical” after watching a movie where a straight guy knows the words to “Send in the Clowns” well enough to beat up an actual clown while singing it is beyond me.

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  • Prey

    Prey

    ★★★★½

    If there’s something the last 35 years have proven it’s that despite being a blueprint to make money, no Predator sequel went out and executed. It’s so weird, and honestly one of my favorite things about the franchise is that it has never tried to copy the original. Neither does Prey, but it’s the first time since Predator that the urge to survive is felt so keenly.

    I don’t think that’s all the other sequels lack, but this movie works so…

  • Commando

    Commando

    ★★★★★

    My appreciation for this movie is endless. I especially liked it when they let the two slabs of meat fight each other with no soundtrack other than their own very determined grunting. Its attempts to make Schwarzenegger look like a real human and not the product of complex geometry are hilarious. Imagine bopping him on the nose with an ice cream cone and having him smile and go “ha ha ha” in response. I would have been terrified. Basically perfect.