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  • Fifty Shades Darker

    Fifty Shades Darker

    ½

    this man has all this money yet he still can’t afford therapy

  • Bratz

    Bratz

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    me, after meredith falls into the pool: “i guess you could say this is what happens when you do the clownery” 

    my boyfriend: extended sighing

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  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel

    ★★★★½

    I, a known dumbass, thought somehow that it'd be a great idea to consume a gigantic cup of Dr Pepper and almost a liter of water during the movie. It wasn't like a conscience decision, like "hey, how about we consume all this liquid so we're gonna definitely have to pee for the entirety of the last half of the movie," but it happened. 

    After the movie "ended" and the credits started, my family and I just sat there. This was…

  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    ½

    how about we just collectively forget about this movie's existence??