• Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

    Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

    ★★★

    Okay, so while I think the second one is a damp squib, the third one does pick up. Not a patch on the original of course. The Pirates film have more in common with the original Matrix trilogy than they'd care to admit.

    It's all a giant mess though. It really is quite surprising that the second and third one were made back to back and yet the story and characters genuinely feel randomly assembled and introduced. The entire pirate…

  • Memories of Murder

    Memories of Murder

    ★★★½

    I've seen all of Bong's films except for this one. I've been saving it since I got the Blu-ray for my birthday.

    Memories is pretty great but maybe I was in the wrong frame of mind. It didn't always keep my attention and, while I appreciate this is the point but, it felt very repetitive. There is no doubt it is an unsettling film. I'm not sure I got all of it but the satire came through strong. The cops…

  • X

    X

    ½

    I mean, it's a load of silly nonsense.

    It started off quite promising but then just got very by-the-numbers and so dreary and dull. Ticking every cliche and seen-it-all-before of every horror movie.

    The acting was on par with a Resident Evil computer game too which really let it down. The characters had no real time to develop and ultimately the final third is a gross out comedy with no suspense or point. It's just a real let down.

    Basically, another crap Ti West film then.

  • The Batman

    The Batman

    ★★★½

    Yeah, so overall it's good. Pattinson is prob my fave Batman so far and Catwoman is excellent here too.

    Where it doesn't quite work for me is how real and gritty it is. I mean, the more real you get the more daft this all becomes. Surely the Batman signal would just be on all the time with how much crime there is. You see, it gets silly now. Batman works as a comic and the more real it gets…

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

    Saw an interview with Bill Nighy that made me want to watch his performance in this.

    While the first one was great the sequel is so dreadful its almost unwatchable. It's so tiring, not just the constant double crossing, but the fact set pieces are repeated and become boring. Down a hill in a sphere, down a hill in a waterwheel. Kraken attack, another boring Kraken attack.

    Maybe it's just me, but it's also far too violent. Just hundreds of…

  • In the Earth

    In the Earth

    ★½

    The more films I see by Ben Wheatley the more I think Kill List was a fluke. I loved Kill List. I don't really like anything else he's made.

    In The Earth starts out pretty great. I'd say the first and second act are excellent.

    Then the third act just shits the bed. A student film's attempt at a 2001 ending but just meaningless and pointless.

  • Death on the Nile

    Death on the Nile

    ★★★★½

    Have to say, I loved this.

    Ignoring the cancelled members of the cast, I thought everyone did a great job and, having never read the book, had no idea where it was going. An emotional rollercoaster that looks beautiful.

    This sounds crazy but I'm really into the Christie cinematic universe. Hope they keep going! Probably the best cinematic universe after Marvel!

  • Thor: The Dark World

    Thor: The Dark World

    This is my absolute worst Marvel film.

    Even after including The Eternals.

  • The Incredible Hulk

    The Incredible Hulk

    ★½

    Tim Roth is great but Edward Snorton is a very dull Hulk.

  • Batman Begins

    Batman Begins

    ★★★★½

    A quick question. Wouldn't a microwave transmitter thats purpose was to vaporise a water supply also vaporise the water within a human?

    I love this film but it would be better if it had everyone being turned into a raisin when 80% of their body water was vaporised.

  • Turning Red

    Turning Red

    I watched this while I have Covid.

    I absolutely hated it and fell asleep multiple times throughout.

    Definitely not a film for me. I really disliked the design of the lead character who looked like a slightly racist Charly Brown caricature. It was weird it was set in 2000 and felt very awkward throughout. To me it felt like the writer director should probably have had therapy or at least maybe had an open chat with their mum. It played out like an introvert's fantasy which I just couldn't abide.

    Get therapy or get out.

  • Murder on the Orient Express

    Murder on the Orient Express

    ★★★★½

    I don't think I've ever seen any of the other adaptations of this. Regardless, I thoroughly loved this. Not always a fan of Branagh but he's total perfection here. Masterfully balancing between silliness and seriousness throughout his Poirot is excellent.

    It may also have my favourite soundtrack in a few years too.