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  • Skinner

    Skinner

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    While o freely admit to not paying the full amount of attention to this film, it did seem a bit.. well meh I’m afraid. 

    Our friendly, nerdy murderer skins unfortunate victims in a Buffalo Bill style to make himself skinsuit. Grim. 

    Problem is, Dennis Skinner is also the name of a grumpy old far left politician from the Labour Party. Consequently I find it near impossible to take him seriously as a slash-slash psychopath.

  • Scanners

    Scanners

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Murderously telekinetic X-Men are pursued by pistol-brandishing middle aged white men in raincoats..

    Understandably, they use their powers to fuck shit up. Heads explode, phones melt. Raincoats scatter. 

    But I just can’t take my eyes off that computer-nerd’s facial moley-moley-moley

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  • The Evil Dead

    The Evil Dead

    ★★★★★

    Whenever I think of the Evil Dead, it’s not that tree incident, nor is it the pencil in the Achilles for poor Linda, it’s not even the splatterific quantities of gore that’s chucked around, it’s how creepy those chains sounded as they struggled to keep Demon #1 in the cellar. 

    The weight of the links causes them to constantly collide with the heavy wooden trap door into the basement. As the intensity of the contained demon increases, the sound of…

  • Return of the Jedi

    Return of the Jedi

    ★★★★½

    Here it is: Review #1000 

    To commemorate me hitting the my first thousand reviews I thought I’d choose some of my childhood favourites I’ve not got round to seeing again recently.

    Ok, so RotJ might not be the best film of the trilogy (please note, for the purposes of today’s project, I’m ignoring episodes 1,2, 3, 7 and 8 have even occurred) but when I was 10 years old, I just loved the locations, monsters and action sequences.
     
    And…