Trans girl, dyke, 25. Not a tool, but a person worthy of her name.
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Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll 2019
Since coming out, in attempts to make family members meet me halfway, I tell them that “I’m still me.” In a technical sense, sure, whatever. But in truth, when I think of my pre-transition self, I think of Philip K. Dick’s VALIS and its description of Horselover Fat’s suicidal friend Gloria: “Fat heard in her rational tone the harp of nihilism, the twang of the void. He was not dealing with a person; he had a reflex-arc thing at the…
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Her 2013
When I first saw this movie, freshman year of college, I was miserable. Part of that was your garden-variety anxiety and depression, which I still suffer from. Another part was that I was trans and didn't yet know it. But another part was that I was not a good person.
Not to say that I am one now. But at the time, I was so much worse. I was selfish, arrogant, and bitter, and the year prior I'd permanently destroyed…
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Top Gun: Maverick 2022
And they are dancing, the board floor slamming under the jackboots and the fiddlers grinning hideously over their canted pieces. Towering over them all is Tom Cruise and he is naked dancing, his small feet lively and quick and now in doubletime and bowing to the ladies, huge and grinning and free of wrinkles, like an enormous infant. He never sleeps, he says. He says he’ll never die. He bows to the fiddlers and sashays backwards and throws back his…
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The Matrix 1999
The only element of this that consistently hadn't worked for me in the past—across both my too-cool-for-it college viewing and my revelatory revisit in theaters—was Trinity's confession of love for Neo. It was a contrivance, a screenwriting trick too clever by half, something the characters hadn't made me believe.
This viewing, that "I love you" crashed into me. Because of course it's a contrivance, just as every bit of messianic destiny and prophecy in the film is. All of it…
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Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 2016
Honestly feels like the only one of these that matters sometimes - not a great film, not a fully uncompromised piece of cinema, but a work of art with a clear vision of what its subjects mean for the world beyond their own individual foibles. While that implies a turgid clash of philosophies, Snyder hangs his entry-level theological trappings on a trio of broken men desperately trying to either live up to or avenge the expectations thrust upon them by…