goodhunterabbie has written 73 reviews for films during 2019.

  • Gremlins


    Apart from anything else, the mindmelting AUDACITY of the bad taste required for Spielberg and Dante to prominently feature a poster for their Twilight Zone movie in the main character's room, the year after it fucking killed Vic Morrow and two children, is... something

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Remember how in The Last Jedi, when brother and sister are finally reunited, Luke and Leia's theme plays and it's beautiful and touching and meaningful? In The Rise of Skywalker it plays over Lando talking to Jannah, a character he's never met before, because they needed something to fill the space.

    This little moment—the movie doing all it can to induce meaning through the brute force of nostalgia without context—is repeated again and again throughout the film's runtime. In The…

  • Looking for Richard

    Looking for Richard

    What's better than this, guys being bards

  • Cats


    My audience burst into laughter at the very first shot. The one time that laughter started to die midway through, during a Very Serious scene, some guy in the back said "Imma get some snacks" and it was like a dam broke. We applauded as he left and howled for a solid minute.

    This movie is a fucking gift, and if the world is just it will replace The Room as shorthand for jaw-droppingly bad art creating joy

  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    We are the hollow men
    We are the stuffed men
    Leaning together
    Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
    Our dried voices, when
    We whisper together
    Are quiet and meaningless
    As wind in dry grass
    Or rats' feet over broken glass
    In our dry cellar
    Shape without form, shade without colour,
    Paralysed force, gesture without motion

  • Ninotchka



    I love Ninotchka with all my heart and I want so much better for her than what this movie gives her.

  • Frozen II

    Frozen II


    Songs are still lowest-common-denominator garbage, Olaf is still the most annoying thing on earth, and the stabs at social commentary are muddled at best. But it has the virtue of being much weirder than the original and Elsa has some cool superpower stuff so whatevs.

  • The Empire Strikes Back

    The Empire Strikes Back


    Remains striking all these years later primarily because it's the only Star Wars movie to operate on dream logic for a significant extent of its runtime. Dagobah starts that dream-time feeling—for most of the film we have no conception of how quickly time is passing. Luke could be with Yoda for days or months, the Falcon trapped in the slug's belly and then limping to Bespin at the same foggy clip. That atmosphere, along with all the metaphysical stuff that…

  • Charlie's Angels

    Charlie's Angels

    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was warping feminism into brand material.

    In awe of how cursed this is. Not an ounce of filmmaking talent on display, but it literally ends on the revelation that RBG is an angel which I guess is supposed to make it an uncriticizable yas-queen powerhouse. At least K-Stew got paid.

  • The Trump Prophecy

    The Trump Prophecy

    First Reformed: "Who are you?"

    The Trump Prophecy: "I'm you but stronger in every possible way."

  • National Theatre Live: Fleabag

    National Theatre Live: Fleabag

    (Ooh, is LB allowing these again? Better get my rating in while it lasts.)

    Just to choose my side in the Discourse: haven't seen the show but liked the play! Coulda done without the gross fatphobic bit, but "really slutty pizza" is henceforth gonna be a regular part of my vocabulary.

  • Scarface



    Went into my first viewing tonight not knowing this movie expects me to buy F. Murray Abraham as a guy called Omar Suárez. His first appearance knocked the wind out of me to the extent that I was unable to recover for the rest of the three-hour runtime.