goodhunterabbie has written 12 reviews for films with no rating.

  • Capybara Walking
  • Fitzcarraldo


    The mother of all snuff films, a 157-minute argument against its own existence that finally lapses into the egoist's self-acceptance. Where Aguirre's genius is in its grasp on the pettiness, meanness, and empty promises of empire, reveling in the banal absurdity of its monstrous heroes and the brutality of their fates, here Herzog has been completely seduced by grandeur—these images may be evil, it opines, but aren't they beautiful to look at? The nearly uninterrupted sequence of indigenous laborers performing…

  • Caesar's Guide to Gaming with Orson Welles

    Caesar's Guide to Gaming with Orson Welles

    A harrowing documentation of the auteur realizing there's no place left for him amidst capitalism's heap of broken images, wandering adrift through a smattering of rigged games of chance as contextless interludes of parodical "multicultural" enticements drift by like a transmission from hell. As Orson shambles from halfheartedly throwing in allusions to Hades and Poseidon to visible anger at being here to drunken, affectless stupor, we too feel ourselves lose all vestige of emotional response. We are all subsumed by…

  • Come Swim

    Come Swim

    Kristen Stewart is a cis trans woman, no I will not elaborate

  • Assassin 33 A.D.

    Assassin 33 A.D.

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    If Jim Carroll can't get the funding together for Assassin 2049 A.D. then what is even the point of existence

  • Her


    When I first saw this movie, freshman year of college, I was miserable. Part of that was your garden-variety anxiety and depression, which I still suffer from. Another part was that I was trans and didn't yet know it. But another part was that I was not a good person.

    Not to say that I am one now. But at the time, I was so much worse. I was selfish, arrogant, and bitter, and the year prior I'd permanently destroyed…

  • Masked and Anonymous

    Masked and Anonymous

    Unrateable. An impenetrable spiral of self-absorption which, for all its technical ineptitude, manages to leave an impression if for no other reason than your certainty that it must be on purpose. Succeeds in being politically prescient in fits and starts, mostly because it throws all Dylan's half-formed thoughts at the wall and ensures some of them stick—at its best this plays like a slapdash prototype of Southland Tales, only superficially skating over societal collapse and balkanization but doing so in…

  • The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat

    The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat

    Logged at the original frame rate in protest.

  • Cats


    My audience burst into laughter at the very first shot. The one time that laughter started to die midway through, during a Very Serious scene, some guy in the back said "Imma get some snacks" and it was like a dam broke. We applauded as he left and howled for a solid minute.

    This movie is a fucking gift, and if the world is just it will replace The Room as shorthand for jaw-droppingly bad art creating joy

  • Reds


    Almost never do this but had to bail after I got an hour in. So! Many! Languid! Bickering! Conversations! And maybe two scenes of actual politics. Maybe that shifts in the next two hours but it's 11:00 PM and life's too short.

  • Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

    Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

    All the reviews here use the word "dated" as if catchy songs that literally romanticize gang rape because it's what gets women hot are something on the level of bad matte paintings or antiquated screenwriting.

  • Song to Song

    Song to Song

    I don't care even if this ends up being Malick's objectively worst film, Rooney Mara plays guitar in it so it's automatically 10/10 pinnacle of cinematic achievement.