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  • Ghost Ship

    Ghost Ship

    ★★

    Watch the first five minutes and shut it off. What follows is a nonsensical, stupid mess of a plot about a bunch of greedy douchebags trying to get gold off a ship. Pretty much everyone is unlikable, even Karl Urban, who is one of my favorite actors. This movie tries to be like The Shining on a ship and it just doesn't work. Nothing about the plot makes sense or adds up or even pays off in any sort of way.

  • Face/Off

    Face/Off

    ★★★★

    What you have is John Travolta doing a cartoonish Nic Cage impression and Nic Cage doing a cartoonish John Travolta impression. The movie starts with a chase on a runway, taking down a plane and ends with a boat chase, just to make sure we've had an action scene with every vehicle possible. This is a movie starring two crazy actors trying to out crazy each other and the end result is a bonkers, off the wall flick that is endless fun. So much uncomfortable improv and over the top action to make anyone watching happy.

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  • The New Mutants

    The New Mutants

    ★★★

    Wasn't the greatest, but wasn't the worst. Not even close to being the worst. Josh Boone tried to give some depth to the characters, having it play out like a John Hughes movie with mutants, but no. Fox has to stick their dick and interfere, because they know better. They've been buttfucking the X-Men movies for twenty years now. It's pretty apparent where the studio meddled and unfortunately the cool haunted house angle suffers and the movie could have benefited from the additional scenes it was supposed to get. Still, not terrible. Liked it better than Apocalypse and Dark Phoenix.

  • Zombie 3

    Zombie 3

    ★★★★

    During production, Lucio Fulci fell ill while making this movie and apparently the producers were unhappy with some of what he shot, so they hired Bruno Mattei to finish it. So what we have here is possibly the greatest direction mashup of all time. One is a bit artsy, known for heavy atmosphere and Gore, the other for ripping off popular films and having a trashy, exploitable feel. This movie is absolutely a combination of the two. The plot follows…