julie marks a new line in her life.

this is her path now. it’s going to be different this time because this is what she is passionate about. she will actually live by the principles she sets for herself.

but, as julie gets comfortable, she starts to forget how the initial feeling felt. a feeling that wasn’t analytical in nature, simply a feeling uncorrupted. this is why the party sequence sticks out to me. there’s a forbidden atmosphere about it, constantly toeing the line for what is acceptable. when that sequence ended, i was left wondering when the last time i reveled in my own embarrassment was. i still don’t remember.

julie marks a new line in her life.

she wants to chase that feeling again. she wants to remember things about herself that she has forgotten.

but, as julie gets comfortable again, the pattern repeats, only this time, there is nowhere to run. she can’t stop herself from feeling like the worst person in the world. of course, she is infinitely harder on herself than the other people in her life, like most, but that’s hard to hear. it takes a retrospective of a life lived to put that into perspective. at this point, i can forgive some of the underdeveloped aspects of julie because these feelings resonate deeply.

it’s not nostalgia; it’s being scared and trying to process. the circular path julie takes is one way to do that, but needless to say, she still needs to move forward.

julie marks a new line in her life.