jade

i write dumb poem reviews, usually haikus
(and i apologize in advance for my shit opinions when it comes to rating)

Favorite films

  • Fight Club
  • Trainspotting
  • Brokeback Mountain
  • American Psycho

Recent activity

All
  • Dog Day Afternoon

    ★★★

  • After

    ½

  • Rocketman

    ★★★½

  • Nymphomaniac: Vol. II

    ★★★

Recent reviews

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  • Rocketman

    Rocketman

    ★★★½

    the truth, a haiku

         this is the movie
         bohemian rhapsody
         wishes it could be

  • Nymphomaniac: Vol. II

    Nymphomaniac: Vol. II

    ★★★

    lars von trier making a movie part 3, in 2 haikus
    (part 2)

         looks like we’re all set
         women in pain and dick shots
         what else do we need

         i almost forgot
         let’s remind the audience
         that all men are trash

Popular reviews

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  • Green Book

    Green Book

    the making of green book, a haiku

         racism is bad
         but hey, good white guys exist!
         so let’s touch on that

  • Nightcrawler

    Nightcrawler

    ★★★½

    a message for the academy, a haiku

         dear academy,
         please give jake the oscar that
         you know he deserves