Favorite films

  • Morvern Callar
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • Lost in Translation
  • Being John Malkovich

Recent activity

All
  • Resident Evil: Retribution

    ★★★

  • Resident Evil: Afterlife

    ★★★★

  • Resident Evil: Extinction

    ★★

  • Resident Evil: Apocalypse

    ★★

Pinned reviews

More
  • Eternals

    Eternals

    ★★

    This feels different.
    You say, let's not get fast food, let's get something fancier. Let's go somewhere nice for a change. The restaurant has gilded fixtures and nice lightning. The menu has loads of fancy looking dishes with names you've never heard of.
    It all looks nice and it's made well but it tastes the same. You wish you'd gotten that fast food hamburger after all.

  • Spencer

    Spencer

    I was going to rant about how we should all just leave Diana alone but this isn't even about Diana. It starts by stating its a fable but that feels like a justification for doing whatever it feels like.
    It's Kristen Stewart, with blonde hair and an accent, wearing her contractually obliged Chanel and doing some serious 'acting' with a jazz soundtrack.
    I know, they've made it clear, this is a fairytale. Then why make a movie about Diana at…

Recent reviews

More
  • Resident Evil: Retribution

    Resident Evil: Retribution

    ★★★

    This transcends plot, it has no meaning, no purpose. It's Milla smashing faces and staring at the screen unblinking while pointing guns.
    Also my bae, Ada Wong is there.
    I'm not sure what else I could have wanted.

  • Resident Evil: Afterlife

    Resident Evil: Afterlife

    ★★★★

    The beginning of this one is so freaking amazing. This time we're Neo from The Matrix and there's a whole bunch of Milla clones and it's batshit but brilliant. Then we're walking away from a plane crash virtually unscathed and it all gets a bit boring.
    Luckily Wentworth Miller is here, he's fit. It's the voice... And the eyes.
    I'm grading on a curve so that's why even though it's a truly terrible example of cinema, it's still the best one I've seen of this series. Also, I think spending all day watching them has warped my brain.

Popular reviews

More