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  • The Girl Next Door

    The Girl Next Door

    ★★★½

    "Sometimes in life if you wanna do something good, you gotta do something bad." -Kelly

    Goddamn, Olyphant was a fucking savage in this.

  • Mare of Easttown

    Mare of Easttown

    ★★★★★

    Fucking kids. Nothing but heartbreak and hassle, amirite? Thank god I'm never having any.

    Anyways, I've never been a huge fan of Kate Winslet, but I am now. Holy shit, she was fucking excellent in this.

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  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Adam Sandler as jeweler who is also a loser, low-life, degenerate, piece of shit gambler, who screams and says fuck. A LOT. That's it. That's the whole fucking movie. That and something about a giant opal.

    The best part is the end when someone FINALLY puts a bullet in his annoying fucking skull, and FINALLY put me outta my misery brought on by watching this garbage movie.

    What a fucking turd.

  • Booksmart

    Booksmart

    I don't know why everyone is all about this movie, because it sucks. It's billed as a "female Superbad" but it doesn't have one tenth of the laughs and fun that film had... and I'm not even a huge fan of Superbad!

    I didn't laugh one time at this. It's not funny. At all.

    And if this is a representation of the way high schoolers are these days, thank fucking GOD I went to school 30 years ago. My generation would eat these fuckers ALIVE.