Army of the Dead

Army of the Dead ★★½

Scott, was that a zombie in a goddamn cape?

I'm taking a stand: dumb movies that run over 2 hours must cease to be! I'm tired of feeling like an ancient asshole who can't stay awake through a whole flick because some genius thinks a zombie needs more motivation than delicious human flesh. It's 2021, trim that shit or make it a series!

That said, some of the effects are cool. -1/2

"The decision came down to the wire, but ultimately, the President caved to the pressures to move the date of the bombing off of the holiday. This marked a reversal of his earlier position that dropping the nuke on the Fourth would be, quote, 'really cool, and the ultimate fireworks show,' and quote, 'actually kind of patriotic if you think about it.'"

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