Licorice Pizza

Licorice Pizza

when i lived in la i was in my mid-twenties, like alana. i had ceased to be what i was and had yet to become what i thought i ought to be. i hopped off the plane at lax with a dream and a basic understanding of the city's topography acquired from playing grand theft auto: san andreas, which takes place in a digital replica of la. the city unfurled around me like a treasure map: a mission-based game to play and win

i had a handful of well-connected friends, i'd appeared in one semi-successful indie film, and i looked okay in a short dress; this got me up some elevators, beyond some reception desks. down the halls dwelled elders and betters, stars and their makers. these demi-gods—adults, really—told me i was unique inspiring powerful smart and talented. i'd beam blush and stammer. then the deities would disappear behind sliding glass doors or into sports cars. i'd never see or hear from them again

the friends who got me up the elevators would pick me up from the offices in shitty cars (some of them had nice cars, but only some of them). we'd get high in the six-hour dusk. we'd bury our love for one another under recaps of lunch meetings, into forecasts of the calls we might receive the following day. convinced we didn't have time to spare, we made the best of it. the real fun would begin when we made it, and we were all—always already interminably—on the brink of making it. this went on for a couple of years. then i moved back to new york

i don't understand la and i don't pretend to but p.t.a. does. his la—hairy languorous cringe suburban sparsely populated by odd-looking people who say sublime things and sublime-looking people who say odd things—resonates, and delights. breaks your heart. two hours in p.t.a.l.a. fly like minutes. in this la, the other la—okay, sure, in america—life feels like it merely happens between gigs because one's life is worth only as much as her last gig. one can get by on dreams alone until she can't, and then she must become very intentional and sincere about who, rather than what, she loves. she must come around to who matters in her life rather than to what she does with it

i adored this movie lol