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  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★

    Wow. What a pile of shit.

    Twist at the end was predictable.

    This franchise needs to die.

    What's with the casting?

    Expendable Franco. Danny McBride? Really. Why does the female lead look like a 12 year old boy?

    Dumb decision after dumb decision.

    What was the purpose beyond trying too hard to be deep and clever?

    I'd rather watch Tommy Wiseau talk with a Xenomorph for an hour.

    At least I didn't fall asleep. That's more than I can say for Civil War.

  • The Wall

    The Wall

    ★★½

    No issues with John Cena at all.

    I understand a slow build for the sake of tension, but this crawls.

    No point of reference when it comes to the relationship between Cena and Kickass.

    Cat and mouse game would've been better with some movement.

    Antagonist's Phone Booth performance is forgettable.

    Some revelations seem more than a little forced. #Dean

    Makes the military look more than a little incompetent.

    No reason to really care about the main characters.

    Wait. That was only 90 minutes? Felt like 3 hours.

    The ending turns it into Saw 8: Middle East Edition.

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  • Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park

    ★★★★★

    "Yeah, but, John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."

    Apparently, my parents have more vivid memories of me watching this in the theatre than I do. Finally bought the whole trilogy on Blu-ray today so I could watch it again. It still has the magic that made it so unforgettable as a film. Jeff Goldblum is still my favorite with his signature brand of humor that doesn't measure up in The Lost…

  • The Interview

    The Interview

    ★½

    "They hate us because they ain't us."

    So this is the film that caused so much controversy? Seriously? Seth Rogen plays himself once again while James Franco goes full retard. There are bad jokes and there's this crap. Juvenile jokes at their worst that are in line with Grown Ups. I know it takes a lot for me to laugh, but I didn't even chuckle. Though after seeing a nearly naked Seth Rogen I almost threw up. 2014 and you…