hayden comes alive

hayden comes alive


Cinema should be like a peacock's tail.”-Andrzej Zulawski

Cinephile turned just some guy who watches movies.

Favorite films

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Recent reviews

  • Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

    Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith


    It’s hard for me to discern where this actually deserves to fall in a Star Wars ranking when the “Battle of the Heroes” climax of this movie is the greatest thing to ever happen in a Star Wars movie.

    An argument can be made that the Prequels are a worse trilogy than the Sequels, but John Williams never once woke up for them, and here he is just batting 100 every step of the way.

  • The Fog

    The Fog



    Look. Compared to my favorite Carpenter movie, this movie is bad. Like really bad. Like compared to that, it’s the worst. But as a 00s supernatural slasher in a coastal town with boats and shit....maaaaaaan it ain’t the worst. Also I’m a lil drunk so

Popular reviews

  • The Dark Tower

    The Dark Tower


    This movie has forgotten the face of its father. 

    Sony took King's magnum opus and squandered it. What we have here, after so many stops and starts, is a Maze Runnered, Divergented bastardization of The Dark Tower. It's a YA flick with a Mid-World lexicon.

    Literally couldn't stop laughing when, after a total onslaught of Hey look it's King-Stuff!, I turned to my friend and said "Watch there be a St Bernard" and what do you know there's Cujo…

  • Black Christmas

    Black Christmas



    from the time the title card appears over a snow angel dick in the snow, you realize this new Black Christmas is going to be about as subtle as a brick to the face. That’s ok, I like bricks. It’s like a version of Assassination Nation that you would actually want to watch. Well, it’s more like ACTUALLY the movie HallowGreen retroactively labeled itself as. 

    It’s a totally fun slasher movie for young girls (that should’ve been left as…