Ritual ★★★★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

TW: Self harm, depression, mental disorder

Following is a personal reflection of this film. Can't be counted as a review.

“There was this girl.
A girl drowing in sufferings of her own in desolating ways.
Her name was A.
A was deprived, diagnosed with BDP(Borderline Personality Disorder) filling her with angst, instability, impulsivity and a sense of worthlessness and loneliness. Going through insomniac stages at a seemingly young age. Raised with crippling childhood trauma, with abusive parental figures and their sheer, unacceptable neglection.
These unsolicited inflictions pushed upon her through life made her distinct to humanity. Having a fabricated and loose touch with reality, compulsing her to resort through & through with cutting and bleeding.

She meets B.
A person, at times pretentious with a kind of superiority complex to himself, yet to understand human behaviour and their vapid, complicated nature.
Both of them being in completely parallel state of mind, become emotional apprentice with each other.
B knowing her internal struggles, still carries out that relationship without being aware of the scarring difference between knowing and understanding.

As the time went though,
They formed a stronger, more organized bond in a playful immature manner.
That bond took over them overwhelmingly.
A lifting change striked there in A's regime. Suddenly feeling livelier, happy.
Her self embedded scars were mystically vanishing, her loneliness felt fulfilled.
She talked about that person with her mother and got better sleep at nights in the soulful thoughts of her lover.
She finally felt outside of her fabricated void into a realistic paradise, or which might only seem realistic.
As time took over and leaves changed their colors,
That more organized bond started going out of shape.
A's tender escape like apprentice became her only source of reliance.
Becoming, at point, overbearing.
Did her blissful paradise really exterminate that mentally deranged self of hers?
Or did it just overshadow it until distracted.
Her obsessive reliance over that more human mean of escapism, became a toxicological, yet incomprehensible obstruction of their friendship.
The fear of separation heavily stimulated A's instability, enraging her into impulsivity towards that seemingly distancing friend.
B, overburdened by this messy play, was perplexed if to choose good for his own slowly collapsing peace of mind that keeps pushing him onto the verge of mental chaos.
Or be sympathetic to the person he promised, while her individual self drowns in dephts of her antecedent, depressive void.
What can he do? What might he do?

He does not despise her.
Nor does he want a return to that disconcerting dread of mind.
But what can be now? What should've been done before?”

B was never able to comprehend this incoherent link with A.
Not to himself nor to that past friend.
But somehow this film unknowingly deconstructes those feelings of his.
Which makes it further difficult for him to comprehend it.

No other film has awakened such extreme empathy and resonance in him.
No other film has made him feel such depths.
But this scary? deranged? tender? heartly? nonchalant? lively? empty? ok?
feeling was, and will always be incomprehensible to his mind...

Cause the complexity of human nature...
never cease to end.