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  • Spider-Man: Homecoming

    Spider-Man: Homecoming

    ½

    I feel like a crazy person. This movie was terrible, one of the absolute worst superhero movies I've had the misfortune to see, and for some reason everyone is calling this the "movie of the summer." Well, I guess I'm done with cinema then...

  • It Comes at Night

    It Comes at Night

    ★½

    I wrote a thing about "post-horror."

    The gist is that it's another unnecessary elitist label that critics use to justify liking horror movies. Just because a prestigious distributor like A24 is releasing horror films doesn't set them above the genre.

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  • Upstream Color

    Upstream Color

    ★★★★

    Shane Carruth's previous film, Primer, is a very clinical and cold film, yet nine years later he returns with Upstream Color, a film grounded in emotion and warmth. This is a film with a love story at its core, and like Primer, the science fiction elements are secondary to the exploration of the character's relationship. Since this film hasn't reached a wide release yet, I will spend the first paragraph addressing why one should see it, without spoilers, and then…

  • The Conjuring

    The Conjuring

    ★★★★★

    You know a movie is incredibly fucking terrifying when everyone in the theatre is dead silent. Nobody is on their cell-phone. You can't even hear the munching of popcorn. Finally it reaches a point where several audience members begin to break out in awkward laughter--not because something in the film is cheesy, funny, or stupid, it is because they have realized that a movie has made them reach the point of complete terror and they are laughing to let their…