It ★★

"Someone get my bifocals. They're in my second fanny pack" is one of the funniest lines I've heard all year. That kid was far and away the best part of the movie, though the producers reeeeeeeallly want it to be Richie judging by how many "crowd pleasing" one-liners were forced out of his mouth.

Swearing kids can be funny sometimes. But the kids themselves have to be naturally funny too. You can't just rely on random "fucks" for humor. Just like you can't rely on random jumps and musical cues for fear.

And guess what's guilty of both?

The movie is beautifully shot, but I found myself incredibly distracted by the whiplash-inducing changes in tone. Humor was constantly being thrown in where it doesn't belong, effectively cheapening the entire experience. Just thinking about the type of bro Richie's jokes cater to makes me vomit.

And then there's the most important issue of Pennywise. I'm terrified of clowns and I don't think I was ever actually scared. The downfall here is the makeup designers clearly intended for him to be scary. Which almost always has the adverse affect. When I see that you're trying to scare me, I could not be any less threatened. Just like when you see someone trying to be funny. The fact that they're trying so damn hard just makes it sad.

I don't have the energy to waste talking more about this movie's failings. But we can rejoice in the fact that Jack Dylan Grazer as Eddie gives one of the most genuinely hilarious performances of the year. So there's that.

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