• Face/Off

    Face/Off

    ★★½

    Oh boy. This hasn't aged well.

    On the plus side, there's some prime Nic Cage acting, particularly in his conflicted "I'm Castor Troy!" scene in the prison.

    Also on the plus side, Nick Cassavetes. Six words: "No more drugs for that man!"

    On the minus side, there's some prime John Travolta acting.

    Also on the minus side, the action takes ages to kick in.

    Further on the minus side, which waiting for the action to kick in, we have to…

  • Ocean's Eight

    Ocean's Eight

    ★★

    I wanted to like this film more than I actually did, but it was largely disappointing.

    This isn't the fault of the cast. In the film, they exist on the scale from "are fabulous" to "have the potential to be fabulous". What they're largely let down by is the construction of the film.

    Each scene is entered late, rushed through, and left at the earliest opportunity. With no attempt to let any scene breathe, the resulting whole is considerably less…

  • Bird Box

    Bird Box

    ★★

    Bird brained.

  • Rememory

    Rememory

    ★★

    For anyone who wonders what Black Mirror would be like if episodes were overlong, dull and trying too hard. Dinklage does his best, but the script lets him down.

  • Double Date

    Double Date

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    So. A virgin sacrifice is required for the climax. But a complicating factor has been added because one of the antagonists has developed feelings for the virgin and no longer wants to sacrifice them.

    There's a very obvious way of then fixing the problem so that the other antagonist will no longer want to sacrifice them either, but the film managed to miss that completely.

    That the film doesn't address this in any way is the biggest weak link in what is an otherwise serviceable film (it's not fantastic, but it's not terrible either) and nearly had me knock off a further half-star for it.

  • Cover Girl

    Cover Girl

    ★★½

    Rita Hayworth on a vast stage. Gene Kelly dancing with himself. Phil Silvers provides the comic turn. Charles Vidor directs in glorious Technicolour. And yet, somehow, this film is less than the sum of its parts.

  • The Hurricane Heist

    The Hurricane Heist

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The highlight of this film is probably when the storm's eyewall magically vanishes after killing all the bad guys. Some top meteorological accuracy there. 🤦‍♂️

  • Logan

    Logan

    The conversion to black and white has variable results. In some parts of the film, it adds weight and atmosphere. In other parts the picture flattens out, and/or it obscures the action. Ultimately, it's nowhere near as successful as the Fury Road conversion, and while it's interesting to watch once, I couldn't recommend the film be watched this way by choice.

  • Heroes Shed No Tears

    Heroes Shed No Tears

    ½

    There is only one reason why anyone would choose to watch this film. It is directed by John Woo.

    This is not a good enough reason.


    The film is terrible from start to finish, with no redeeming features whatsoever. Nothing makes sense. Scenes happen and stop happening and lurch to the next without anything resembling a visible or logical transition. The tone is all over the shop, from drama, to something resembling comedy, to tragedy and what would now be…

  • It's a Wonderful Life

    It's a Wonderful Life

    ★★★★½

    It's a wonderful film.

  • Electric Dreams

    Electric Dreams

    ★½

    The Moroder/Oakey song is brilliant. The film, not so much.

    It's weirdly directed in that it's like a bunch of '80s music videos cut together.

    Obligatory THAT'S NOT HOW COMPUTERS WORK OH MY GOD comment,

  • Would You Rather

    Would You Rather

    If someone says "Would you rather watch this film, or watch something else instead?" you're probably better off going for the something else instead.