Left for Dead ★½

So, apparently every shit Halloween-set horror movie made post-2000 is required to have at least 15 minutes of Danielle Harris and Left for Dead is no exception, writing a role for the 30-year-old actress to play a college student who is dating a frat boy who had WAY more believable sexual/romantic chemistry with his fellow fraternity brothers.

A masked killer is stalking the bros and killing them [mostly off-screen] one by one, and I must admit, watching the masked killer use a turn signal and following traffic laws while driving & stalking victims is the exact opposite of menacing [but, I suppose it could be seen as a clue as to who the killer is now that I think about it!].

There's another scene where a woman is stabbed to death in the shower and just before she takes her last breath, as she's sliding down the shower wall, she reaches out--to turn the shower off, environmentally friendly even in her last moments!! What a babe!

Whenever the final boy has his shirt off, his performance struggles as he tries his best to flex his abs while doing mundane things like talking on the phone. I love this guy, there's a scene when he's talking to his gf [beard played by Danielle Harris] and he tells her "I was just sitting there and I happened to look up at Freddy's bedroom window.." and I burst out laughing because, OF COURSE he was checking out one of his bros' bedroom windows, poor guy! Just follow your heart! You don't need to play into this heteronormative, boring bullshit!

I love/hate when the twist happens and the hulking shape of a killer goes from about 6'2 to 5'5, it's something prevalent in both gialli and slashers to throw the audience off and the deception is usually rather hilarious, even after you've sat through a 78-minute movie that feels much longer thanks to all of the padding. Left For Dead was clearly made by horror fans, but it could have really benefited a lot from more on-screen kill scenes and it would have felt a lot more natural and true to itself if it was a hell of a lot more gay, as Sally always says "it coulda been gayer."