Summer of 84 ★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

Was the incessant music so we don't forget it's the supposed to be the '80s? The repetitive synth score constantly pulsing away during every. single. scene. including. dialogue. reminded me of Rollergator so that's an automatic HARD PASS but Summer of 84 is bad enough on its own.

First of all, I don't understand the motivation of ANY of these inconsistent characters.

- Mackey: This pedophile serial killer was literally salivating over his neighbor for years, constantly trying to lure him into his basement and after going through TONS of trouble to kidnap him and his best friend with a huge police presence right next door & an APB on his pig ass, he just lets him go while in the middle of the Davey can be scared for the rest of his life in the "suburbs, where shit happens" LMFAO have the people who made this movie [and Turbo] never read or watched anything true crime?!?!?! You think a child rapist is just going to leave this kid physically unharmed?!?! He had a picture of this kid on his murder wall! He was still on the run at the end of the movie, he could have easily taken this kid with him!!!! THIS MAKES NO SENSE.

- The Geek & John Bender: Two of Davey's friends just completely abandon him in the end for no fucking reason. The geeky friend sees that the pig was using all of the soil to plant flowers for the community and then just immediately calls his watch off, even though there were plenty of other pieces to the puzzle that he discovered and explained himself [like the compound that decomposes flesh and would "be poisonous to plants", the mystery serial killer VW bug in storage, the bloody t-shirt of the missing kid, etc, etc, etc] The punk/metal kid with toxic parents ends his watch when the geek kid is like "it's fine don't worry about it," and then you never see either friend again until the very end, when Davey is on his paper route and his former friends just look at him with dismissive disgust?!?!? WAIT, WHAT?! lol Davey was attacked by the guy and y'all are still just choosing not to believe him or...?

- THE BABYSITTER: This was the biggest gross/I'm not buying it bullshit in the movie tbh. Even if she was only 4 years older than Davey, what girl goes back to some little boy she babysat and is like "I'm so horny for you, let's kiss, you're the best, remember just last year when I used to tuck you in at 7:00pm so my older bf can come over." lmfao NO. Her character was so pointless, she was mostly there to be ogled from the window by the creepy 15-year-old voyeurs and to randomly show up as the romantic interest of our best little boy, the star of the universe, the precious

- Davey's shitty ass parents!!! Everything they say/did made me mad!! Your kid found a torn up BLOODY shirt of the boy on the milk carton and the guy was spying on your kid with binoculars and you're gonna be like "darn you, meddling child, leave the rapist cop alone!"

I'm having such a hard time calling Summer of 84 a horror movie because it isn't until the false ending when it switches gears from kiddie mystery to kiddie horror-thriller.

I don't know, everything about this movie rubbed me the wrong way, it started out harmless and then the offenses began piling up quickly and by the end I was outright annoyed.

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