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  • Cool Guys

    Cool Guys

    ★★★

    "Just be cool, my man. Remember, you're a cool guy."

    A delirious deconstruction of '80s beach movies, condensing the plot of something like One Crazy Summer down to 28 minutes and having its characters blithely ignore major plot points as it suits them. (The runner about the soda shop in danger of being torn down that the owner's friendly daughter repeatedly tries to get the protagonists invested in is sublime.) I do have to wonder, though, why the version on…

  • The Wicker Man

    The Wicker Man

    ★★★★½

    "You'll simply never understand the true nature of sacrifice."

    Oh, I imagine by the time it's all said and done, Sgt. Howie has an inkling. I don't know why this is streaming on Netflix, but I for one do not disapprove.

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  • Gaslight

    Gaslight

    What's that? You say there's a movie called Gaslight? Sorry, dear. Never heard of it. You must have imagined the whole thing.

  • Saving Christmas

    Saving Christmas

    This "film" has a running time of about 79 minutes. Here's how that breaks down:

    5.5% - Kirk Cameron's smug, hot chocolate-obsessed introduction
    3% - A seemingly unmotivated cutaway to what looks like a much more interesting movie but is, in fact, not (Bonus: We get to see this footage again in its entirety when it's placed in the proper context)
    2.5% - Cheaply animated opening credits set to a ska cover of "Silent Night"
    7.5% - Kirk's "brother-in-law" --…