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  • The Old Man & the Gun

    The Old Man & the Gun

    ★★★★

    "Do the thing that you want to do, but make sure you actually like it."

    I wanted to see a David Lowery movie tonight. I liked it. I nearly loved it, but then it sailed straight past what I thought was the perfect ending and kept on going for a couple more scenes until it landed on an adequate ending.

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★

    "Could it be that one monster has created another?"

    The longer this goes on, the sillier it gets, but it's the kind of silliness that, if embraced, makes for a tremendously fun night out at the movies. With its emphasis on bodily harm inflicted in grisly and grimly amusing detail, it's easy to peg this as a Halloween sequel from the makers of Pineapple Express.

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  • Gaslight

    Gaslight

    What's that? You say there's a movie called Gaslight? Sorry, dear. Never heard of it. You must have imagined the whole thing.

  • Saving Christmas

    Saving Christmas

    This "film" has a running time of about 79 minutes. Here's how that breaks down:

    5.5% - Kirk Cameron's smug, hot chocolate-obsessed introduction
    3% - A seemingly unmotivated cutaway to what looks like a much more interesting movie but is, in fact, not (Bonus: We get to see this footage again in its entirety when it's placed in the proper context)
    2.5% - Cheaply animated opening credits set to a ska cover of "Silent Night"
    7.5% - Kirk's "brother-in-law" --…