"He's not hiding his face. He's not hiding his identity. He's not hiding what he's doing."
It's irksome that the first voice heard in this documentary belongs to that sanctimonious hypocrite Jesse Helms. Were I telling Robert Mapplethorpe's story, that's not how I would start it, although I admit lifting a phrase out of his harangue to use as its subtitle is a ballsy move. Putting that aside, this is a thorough summation of Mapplethorpe's life and career, told by…
"Aaron probably should have forfeited after killing a guy, but he didn't because he's an asshole." --John McEnroe
Terrifically funny. I wonder what Samberg and company are cooking up for 2019. Whatever it is, I hope it can also involve Dolph Lundgren because he is the secret MVP of these specials as far as I'm concerned.
This "film" has a running time of about 79 minutes. Here's how that breaks down:
5.5% - Kirk Cameron's smug, hot chocolate-obsessed introduction
3% - A seemingly unmotivated cutaway to what looks like a much more interesting movie but is, in fact, not (Bonus: We get to see this footage again in its entirety when it's placed in the proper context)
2.5% - Cheaply animated opening credits set to a ska cover of "Silent Night"
7.5% - Kirk's "brother-in-law" --…
