• Underworld: Awakening

    Underworld: Awakening

    ★★★

    I must’ve missed something

  • Amityville Island

    Amityville Island

    Don’t bring pointy teeth to a gun fight

  • Amityville Cabin

    Amityville Cabin

    I think I watched this?

  • Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story

    Dahmer – Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story

    ★★★★★

    Told the stories of the victims very well, didn’t glorify any of the crimes of Dahmer, and was incredibly engaging. 

    My only complaint was that Dominic Burgess as Gacy was an insane choice. Dude looked alright as Pogo the clown but early Gacy (when he first showed up on-screen) just looked like Dominic Burgess.

  • Candyman

    Candyman

    ★★★½

    Story was good- kills were grotesque- beginning dragged a tad bit.

  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day

    Terminator 2: Judgment Day

    ★★★★★

    It’s funny because realistically, I could talk a ton of shit about the ridiculous James Cameron happenings- but why would/should I ever care about realism and details when things are exploding in a gnarly manner?

  • Skinner

    Skinner

    ★★★★

    Probably isn’t widely considered a great movie but I legitimately think this had everything that makes me love movies wrapped up in a neat little gift wrap

  • Dave Made a Maze

    Dave Made a Maze

    ★★

    Points for set design negative points for just about everything else

  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★★★

    Was not a single thing I didn’t love about this movie thanks

  • From Hell

    From Hell

    ★★★½

    Maybe it’s because I basically haven’t watched a movie in months- but I enjoyed this.

  • Orphan: First Kill

    Orphan: First Kill

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Everything that made the first Orphan spectacular, is what makes this awful. Julia Stiles delivered an acting performance that only a potato could match, Esther looks 9 in some shots and 20+ in others, the first half is spent trying way too hard to prove that the family is suspicious of Esther, then Esther wants to fuck someone’s husband (again), and then Julia Stiles character Anna finds a way to piss me off more than I’ve ever been. Turns out…

  • Big Momma's House 2

    Big Momma's House 2

    ★★★½

    Classic