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  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★½

    I'm still haunted by Robert Pattinson's distorted orgasms. I need professional help!

    Its been three weeks since I've seen 'The Lighthouse' (I saw it on the 5th of October, and am writing this on the 25th of October, when it hits the States on wide release), and yet the spectre of it still hangs over me everyday. I was lucky enough to get two tickets for me and my friend to the Gala screening of the film at the Odeon…

  • Bait

    Bait

    ★★★★½

    Look. I could waffle on about how great 'Bait' is, but I think that might take away from the film’s strange, understated mystique. 'Bait' is something much needed in the age of soulless remakes and endless cash-in sequels; starkly original and unique, and a movie that richly makes use of cinema in an inspired way. Director Mark Jenkin shot the movie on black and white 16mm film, that he hand developed and had overdubbed in post as the print was…

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  • History of the World: Part I

    History of the World: Part I

    ★★

    It has its moments for sure, and it got a few proper laughs out of me (everything before the Roman era i.e The Stone Age and the Moses stuff is hilarious) but this just felt stale to me. Stale in its how heavily dated it is, and stale in how so lifeless and lacking in energy it felt. I'm a big fan of Mel Brooks when he's on top form, and obviously he has some great moments here (the concept…

  • The Living Daylights

    The Living Daylights

    ★★★½

    Sick days are never quite as fun as Ferris Bueller makes them out to be, something I found on Wednesday when I felt particularly shit; on top of that my day was made infinitely worse by Storm Ciara which took out our Wifi. Fortunately I found solace in DVDs, and what with 'No Time To Die' arriving in no time at all, I thought it appropriate to tick off some of the Bond films I hadn't yet seen. Timothy Dalton's…

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  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    ★★

    I could feel my brain cells marching out of my brain in droves throughout all 130 minutes of this. So, so, so, so, so impossibly dumb. I've watched a lot of Godzilla films. I've seen All Monsters Attack. But without the horrendous dubbing the Toho movies have, the dialogue is laughably corny. And I say laughably, cos yeah it was pretty entertaining. I stuffed my face with popcorn, me and my mate laughed out loud at the baffling script, but…

  • Knives Out

    Knives Out

    ★★★★½

    Where to fucking begin. Y'all ain't ready for how good this movie is, and I don't want to get your anticipation too hyped up, but I really don't see how 'Knives Out' could possibly disappoint. Its bloody exceptional, and I'm struggling to think of any flaws with it (it might be my favourite of the year, I'm still processing, but its without a doubt top 3). All you 'Last Jedi' haters out there are gonna have a really have a…