I like that the uranium-enriching rogue state in this has fighter planes that are both more advanced and cooler-looking than the ones being flown by the Navy’s best pilots. It’s a nice nod to American decline, as is Tom Cruise’s slowly but inexorably decreasing handsomeness.

I will try to focus on the positive: it’s kind of nice to see something that’s basically just about being a huge dumbass and taking Ls. Somewhat relatable for anyone who sits through this film.

Fundamentally Dune is a story about hanging out in the desert with your mom and gradually becoming more powerful than her. And this is a film that understands that

Everyone seems to be having a good time here. Listen, cinema is a miracle. What are the odds that a species would be smart enough to invent cameras and projectors but also exactly dumb enough to be fooled into thinking a rapid sequence of still frames is a moving image? We lucked out. I don't mind letting hacks explore their little scenarios.