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  • The Babysitter

    The Babysitter

    ½

    This is not only in the running for my least favorite release of the year but also my worst watch all around. Pop culture references are not personality. On screen graphics are a privilege not a right. And if you're going to make a parody, having some affection or at least understanding of the source material is necessary.

    Intergalactic List of fuck you movie. Jesus Christ.

    Some of the gore was cool? I guess.

  • American Satan

    American Satan

    American Satan's mall metal riff on Faust is way more fun than it has any right to be. Sure, it runs a little long, the acting is a mixed bag, and the story is sort of a mess that doesn't always make sense but who cares? It works almost in spite of itself.

    I'll also back any movie with a Satanic bisexual bass player.

    Death to false malls.

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  • The Little Hours

    The Little Hours

    ★★

    Could have used more witches and turtles but that holds true for most movies.

  • Funny Games

    Funny Games

    ★★★½

    I saw the original version of Funny Games around the time that Pizza Hut brought back their stuffed crust. Being a fan of pizza and novelty foods, I ordered one and settled in to watch the fourth wall breaking, proto-torture porn art house movie that I had heard so much about.

    The stuffed crust turned out to be a success and helped me if not forget, then move past a particularly scarring childhood memory that included the aforementioned stuffed crust,…