• Tarzan & Jane

    Tarzan & Jane

    ★★

    Did they really just use the same two stock sound effects for the panthers?

  • Choose or Die

    Choose or Die

    Choose or Die is probably one of the best examples of an interesting premise executed in the worst possible fashion.

  • The Tinder Swindler

    The Tinder Swindler

    ★½

    News flash: people are dumb.

    Overly melodramatic, lowest common denominator filmmaking takes on a modern Nigerian prince scam that simple-minded, unsympathetic people still fall for.

  • Perfect Strangers

    Perfect Strangers

    ½

    Cheap, insipid, cringeworthy and chock-full of insulting product placement and dreadful acting, Complet Necunoscuți actively ruins the original in a way I didn’t think was possible.

  • Thou Shalt Not Kill

    Thou Shalt Not Kill

    ★★

    The intention is admirable, but I can’t help the feeling that Să nu ucizi undermines the work the press and whistleblowers undertook to bring the Hexi Pharma scandal to light.

    Placing it all on one fictitious doctor’s shoulders and making him go through the same story beats as 2015’s De ce eu? only serves to further lessen the overall impact and viewing experience.

  • Spencer

    Spencer

    ★★★★

    wtf I hate the royal family now

  • House of Gucci

    House of Gucci

    ★½

    Unbearable. Embarassing. Tasteless. House of Gucci.

  • 30 Years and 15 Minutes

    30 Years and 15 Minutes

    ★★★½

    Exaggerated as the topic itself may be, 30 de ani și 15 minute provides a compelling argument for the development of Romanian infrastructure.

  • Dune

    Dune

    ★★★★½

    It’s hard not to compare Dune to Star Wars in terms of ambitiousness, grandiosity and pure awe factor.

    While it may not prove to be as genre or generation-defining as the latter, Dune brings much more elegance and finesse to the table.

  • For Motherland

    For Motherland

    ★★½

    While its heart is in the right place, Pentru Patrie stumbles as a consequence of its overly long runtime and exceedingly patriotic interpretation of historical facts.

  • Chernobyl: Abyss

    Chernobyl: Abyss

    ★½

    me: мама, can we watch Chernobyl?
    mom: нет, we have Chernobyl at home.
    Chernobyl at home:

  • Murder on the Orient Express

    Murder on the Orient Express

    It doesn’t take the world’s greatest detective to find out what Murder on the Orient Express is guilty of: 

    • at best a cursory reading of the source material
    • being a shallow cash grab riddled with unnecessary additions
    • an overexaggeration of the main character
    • an inexplicable focus on action sequences, special effects and over-the-top panoramas
    • a gross misunderstanding of the genre itself
    • an insulting lack of confidence in its viewership