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  • Love, Simon

    Love, Simon

    ★★★½

    Ethan covering his mouth in secondhand embarrassment when Martin is asking Abby to go out with him in front of everyone at the homecoming game is exactly how I felt watching most of this movie for a second time.

  • Game Night

    Game Night

    ★★★½

    I know the big takeaway from this film is how Rachel McAdams is a comedic genius but I think we should take a moment to recognize Billy Magnussen’s impeccable performance as every man I hooked up with in Boston between the years of 2011 and 2015. Truly remarkable.

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  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★★½

    I have a huge problem with this film. We all know that Michael Fassbender's dick is 6'12". How wasn't there the slightest print in that skintight bodysuit?

  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    ★★★★★

    I have never been happier to pay $16 to do what I usually do for free: cry in the middle of a dark room to tender homosexuality and the sounds of Sufjan Stevens.