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  • Mary Queen of Scots

    Mary Queen of Scots

    ★★★

    This fílme really hates the girls and gays, huh?

  • Escape Room

    Escape Room

    ★★★

    This movie had absolutely no business tugging on my wig the way it did, yet here I am anxiously awaiting the sequel and inevitable direct-to-Red Box franchise.

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  • Alien: Covenant

    Alien: Covenant

    ★★★½

    I have a huge problem with this film. We all know that Michael Fassbender's dick is 6'12". How wasn't there the slightest print in that skintight bodysuit?

  • Call Me by Your Name

    Call Me by Your Name

    ★★★★★

    I have never been happier to pay $16 to do what I usually do for free: cry in the middle of a dark room to tender homosexuality and the sounds of Sufjan Stevens.