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  • Gemini Man

    Gemini Man

    ★½

    The fresh prince tries to kill Deadshot

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I saw this at BFI London Film Festival thanks to a very generous Sardonicast listener who happened to have a spare ticket, thanks again, Harri!

    A pretty stunning film in every aspect. I don’t really have any problems with the movie but there is plenty I adore about it. This film will be picked apart for a very long time and almost demands multiple viewings to formulate a thorough interpretation.    

    First off, the unique, almost square 1.19:1 aspect…

  • The Empire Strikes Back

    The Empire Strikes Back

    ★★★★★

    I was lucky enough to see the film projected in the Royal Albert Hall in London with a beautiful live orchestra. The soundtrack is my favourite thing about the movie so it was a stunning experience to see the work that goes behind such a vast ensemble of musicians all playing in perfect synchronisation with the film. It especially made me appreciate the compositions and how they perfectly encapsulate the themes and messages of the movie. It’s a fittingly simple…

  • It Chapter Two

    It Chapter Two

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Bloated but thoroughly entertaining. Mind blowingly perfect casting for what is effectively a retelling of the first movie but with slight twists here and there, the repitition of the structure may be tiresome to some (I certainly noticed it but they were mostly creative enough to keep me engaged). 

    The film is carried by a entourage of genuinely interesting, layered, believable characters who all feed in to the overarching message of the movie that tells us to not let our…

  • Shaun the Sheep Movie

    Shaun the Sheep Movie

    ★★★★★

    This is my Black Panther. This movie empowered me. It helped me get over my rejection from the female known as Wendolene who’d rather date a Chad instead of a true gentleman who would treat her well. Amazing cinematography and a great performance by Shaun, who has fortunately moved on from artsy-fartsy hipster trash like Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave. Films like Shaun the Sheep Movie are true art that often get misunderstood by filthy normies who watch WGCU kiddie movies instead of challenging, thought provoking kino like Southland Tales.

  • The Secret Life of Pets 2

    The Secret Life of Pets 2

    Illumination continue their string of uninteresting pandering movies that only small children could enjoy.

  • Aladdin

    Aladdin

    ½

    Most pointless waste of time of 2019 so far.

  • Death Proof

    Death Proof

    ★★½

    Extended Cut: ⭐️⭐️1/2Grindhouse Cut: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

  • Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

    Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The USA and Canada get to enjoy a new Tarantino film meanwhile the UK has this meme of a movie to dominate the weekend. :D

    This Dwayne Johnson circlejerk needs to end, his dialogue at this point is literally just him bragging about how big his winky is. No exaggeration. He’s a rubbish leading man I’m afraid.

    Deadpool shows up to be “funny”, it’s shit and proves yet again how one note his shtick is.

    Uh, super soldier cyborgs as…

  • Men in Black: International

    Men in Black: International

    ½

    What the fuck were they thinking. No identity. No character. No arcs. No chemistry. No humour. No narrative hook. No fun creature designs. Didn’t like a single scene. Avoid.

  • Disaster Movie

    Disaster Movie

    ½

    Would rate 0 stars if I could. Dunno if recency bias but this is probably my current pick for worst film I’ve ever seen. Stay tuned.

  • Missing Link

    Missing Link

    ★★½

    These Laika movies are like the inverse of Marvel films, instead of being visually bland with great characters and chemistry, they’re stunningly beautiful and the stop-motion animation is insane, but my god do they have the most formulaic, one-note, limp scripts that have very little of interest to anyone that isn’t a child. This one is similarly fine, it has its moments, but I’ll forget about Missing Link the moment I post this review.