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Julian has written 4 reviews for films rated ½ .

  • He's All That

    He's All That 2021

    ½ Watched by Julian 31 Aug 2021

    Not sure it would be possible to see a worse movie this year.

  • Falling

    Falling 2020

    ½ Watched by Julian 17 May 2021

    This movie is relentlessly awful. If that man was my father I would have stopped speaking to him decades ago. Not even the presence of Laura Linney can redeem that I sat through the entire thing. Can we give negative stars?

  • Fourteen

    Fourteen 2019

    ½ Watched by Julian 03 Jan 2021

    “... and then somewhat really early in the conversation, their eyes glaze over. And that’s it, everything you say is wasted.”

    How was this film so well received? The acting is, frankly, terrible. I could organize an impromptu table reading (of this numbingly banal screenplay) with my friends and it would be exponentially better. Which is to say, I should have spent an hour and a half talking to my friends instead of staring blankly at my television wondering why I continued…

  • Christmas Trade

    Christmas Trade 2015

    ½ Watched by Julian 22 Nov 2020

    This is so terrible. 
    Horribly acted, miserably written, and a Christmas nightmare. I had to laugh to prevent my eyes from permanently rolling into the back of my head.
    *watched with a young person, otherwise there is no way I could have made it all the way through*