Julian has written 23 reviews for films rated ★★ .

  • Persuasion



    No. Not worth my time. Not sure why I chose to ignore everyone else who said so.

  • My Fake Boyfriend

    My Fake Boyfriend


    Ugh. Lies are bad, staying in an unhealthy situation is bad, and meddling straight friends are the worst.

  • Ambulance



    Evidentially my love for Gyllenhaal isn't enough to compensate for the utterly ridiculous Bay bulls**t.

  • Crimes of the Future

    Crimes of the Future


    Did the nudity in this film serve a purpose other than satisfying the male gaze? This entire film felt fetishized and overplayed.

  • The Northman

    The Northman


    A cautionary tale of toxic masculinity?
    I loved Egger's previous two films, but this just felt overproduced and empty. Where was the magic sauce that allowed me to suspend disbelief? More than disappointed, I'm gutted.

  • I Want You Back

    I Want You Back


    Oh, they tried, really tried, but it just didn't work for me.

  • Surge



    What the F? 
    Ben Whishaw is terrifyingly committed to his performance, but I'm not sure what this film was about beyond the impressive performance. The shaky hand held camera work gave me a headache and I was (literally) nauseous. Just a little more focus would have been appreciated.

  • Queen Bees

    Queen Bees


    So poorly written.

  • The Tragedy of Macbeth

    The Tragedy of Macbeth


    Nope. You would have to pay me, handsomely, to sit through this again.

  • The Tender Bar

    The Tender Bar


    What does JR stand for?
    The same question asked over and over. Absolutely nothing interesting happens in this movie, Poor boy grows up without a dad, but his name is Junior. Ben Affleck tells him to read a closet full of books. This makes him smart enough to go to Yale (his mom wants him to be a lawyer). He talks about being a novelist, but he doesn't appear to be making an effort. JR loves a girl who doesn't…

  • Lady of the Manor

    Lady of the Manor


    I adore Melanie Lynskey, but I'm going to go ahead and forget I ever saw this (and whatever Ryan Phillippe has done to his face).

  • Titane