Favorite films

  • Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
  • Yi Yi
  • Force Majeure
  • Alien

Recent activity

  • Bones


  • There's Someone Inside Your House


  • Juice


  • The Empty Man


Recent reviews

  • Bones



    2.5/5.0 = Noteworthy

    Someone should take Jordan Peele to court for remaking CANDYMAN before remaking BONES. This is begging for a thoughtful remake; an excellent blaxploitation horror film full of great tidbits of political commentary that's held back by lackluster central characters and a failure to ever be as scary or as funny as it ought to be. It's a film full of wild ideas, clearly pulling some deep-cut horror references — there's more Giallo and HELLRAISER in here than…

  • There's Someone Inside Your House

    There's Someone Inside Your House


    2.0/5.0 = Satisfactory

    I'm an absolute nut for early aughts teen-slasher movies, so I can't in good conscience hate THERE'S SOMEONE INSIDE YOUR HOUSE, a "woke Wes Craven"-type that loosely toys with the idea of cancel culture without ever making any particularly intelligent statements about privilege, trauma, or mob mentality. It's a nifty little thing on paper, but where SCREAM uses every kill, scare, and story development to comment on its running theme (parodying the established rules of slasher movies),…

Popular reviews

  • Two Distant Strangers

    Two Distant Strangers

    0.5/5.0 = Notably Terrible

    Note: I only review short films if they're nominated for an Oscar. I don't like the idea of publishing criticism on other short films.

    Joey Bada$$ police brutality drama TWO DISTANT STRANGERS is easily the worst short film nominated for the Academy award since 2017s SILENT NIGHTS. Honestly, it may be the worst short film I've ever seen, full stop. This is totally irresponsible, careless, stupid, juvenile, and tactless filmmaking. I'm not the first to say…

  • Dragged Across Concrete

    Dragged Across Concrete


    5.0/5.0 = Masterpiece

    The greatest heist film since HEAT, the best cops and robbers film since HEAT, the best hard-boiled crime film since HEAT. Okay, maybe I'm ignoring OCEAN'S ELEVEN for effect but you get the idea! The point is this: DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE is a modern masterpiece. A glacially paced procedural that transitions from slow-cinema stakeout caper to ultra tactical shoot 'em up. Guns have replaced fists in Zahler's third cinematic outing, but the bullets are used sparingly.