katie’s review published on Letterboxd:
its exactly 4:00 am when i'm writing this. i realized, in the swamp of all my 4am thoughts, that i've never really talked to my followers before. unless you've talked to me on twitter or in the comment sections (which is a really inconvenient btw), i probably haven't talked to you before. you probably don't know that much about me, unless you've read some of my older reviews (including my carol, manchester by the sea, speed racer, and colossal reviews). i've been pondering over something for the last couple of weeks (and months, honestly.) i've talked to a lot of my friends about it, but i let the need to speak to the people who see my content everyday. just know that this is REALLY MESSY AND I WROTE IT AT 4 IN THE MORNING.
i don't write reviews. i really wish i did, truly, but i'm not good at coherently talking about why i love film. i'm good at being funny, at least i think so, and that's what i like doing. i've been in a constant battle with myself over the whole funny vs. serious reviews since i've joined this website back in august of last year. and honestly? i think i'd rather be smarter when it comes to my writing. i want to work on my writing. i've been saying that for months and months, but i really do. i love making people laugh, no matter how many angry guys comment on my reviews that i'm not doing letterboxd right or that i shouldn't be allowed to be on the popular page. but seriously, letterboxd is extremely important to me, not because i want more followers or more fans, but because i love film. i want to continue with the one liners and random quotes but i also want to get more in depth with actual review writing. if anyone has any advice please comment.
i never realized that the film community could be so hostile. when i was younger i imagined that loving something was easy, and that if you loved something as much as a lot of us love film, everyone would support you. friends and relationships would applaud you, family would lift you up. but as i've grown (even though i'm still a baby), i realize that loving something with passion is really dangerous. for example, the whole song to song thing. i know how mad i made so many people, and i think it's hilarious. but honestly, the more i think about it, the more toxic it seems to me. so many people who love malick with a fire inside of them were willing to say such threatening and hurtful things to a teenage girl who made a joke. but can i blame them? to an extent, yeah, i can and will. but seriously? no i can't. if someone made fun of me for loving something the way some people love malick, i would most definitely explode. love is super great, i love love, but it's also really scary. growing up and loving film has helped and hurt me, but i'm glad i found letterboxd.
even though i make fun of this tiny website all the time, i love that people can come together and discuss something we're all invested in. i'm glad people like jacob exist, to write super fucking brilliant reviews, and then people like gela or mia or lucy exist, to make everyone laugh like a little bitch. i'm glad i'm here, and i'm trying to make my account better. i shouldn't be taking this as seriously as i am, but i've gotten a lot of advice from people telling me to talk about it and i'm glad i'm doing so. whether you read this or not, i'm posting it. i'll probably wake up and regret it, but for now, i'm glad i spent 20 minutes of my life nervously typing about my feelings for you guys. comment shit below. complaints, complaints, i don't care. i love you all and thank you for dealing with my annoying ass.