The Legend of Tarzan

The Legend of Tarzan ½

Suddenly that King Kong remake doesn't seem so bad after all. At least Peter Jackson tried to make it an adventurous joyride. Yates goes all over the place, but above all it's painfully serious and way too sappy with cringeworthy flashbacks, overbearing music that feels like a generic leftover from a similar turkey and pompous dialogue that makes every actor look even worse than the paper thin characters they portray. It's Tarzan for fuck sake, not Nelson Mandela. Drop a layer of fun over it, we get what's underneath.

So I figured, okay, this must be meant for 10 year olds or something, but then, all of a sudden, there's a joke. About nuts. And not the kind that grow on trees or something like that, no, no, Mangani nuts. Where the hell did that come from? It wasn't that funny either, but nothing really works here. It has some of the worst action scenes in today's cinema and the CGI, for a big budget production like this, is nothing less than embarrassing. Big fat win for The Jungle Book there. All things considered, this legend is an abomination.

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