Trash, mostly.
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Ma Barker's Killer Brood 1960
To my memory, my family got a hotel room exactly once when I was a kid, on a vacation when I was around 10. My little brother and I were amped because a hotel room meant having access to cable TV. We were beside ourselves with joy clicking through channels, until we landed on a station showing Ma Barker's Killer Brood. We only caught the last 15 minutes or so, but that was a formative filmic experience for me. In…
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The She-Creature 1956
Mesmerist Chester Morris terrorizes a quaint seaside town with dull mentalist performances, smug condescension, and a prehistoric gill creature who's actually a hypnotically induced regression of his mind-controlled assistant/slave Marla English.
That's such a swell premise that it's almost a given that the actual movie will underdeliver. And it does! It's slow, repetitive, and bogged down by a truly weird, mumblesome performance by Lance Fuller* (Brak from This Island Earth!) as our heroic skeptic. I was intrigued by the truly…
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Horror Express 1972
Look, obviously when a movie starts out with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing on a Trans-Siberian train battling an otherworldly shapeshifter that eats brains with its eyes, eventually you're going to get around to Telly Savalas in a deep red smoking jacket beating the hell out of a Rasputinesque monk in a crowded dining car. Fortunately, the stylish execution makes up for the same-old same-old plot.
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Don't Panic 1988
I mean, how does a grown-up man even find adorable dinosaur pajamas in his size in Mexico City in 1989?
Oh right, the review... Uh... So as much fun as a Mexican Nightmare on Elm Street knock-off might sou-
But for real, there were people involved in that decision. Like, paid professionals - consultants, wardrobe artists, the director - and not one of them found anything wrong with the hero spending half the film running around in dino jammies and…
