Favorite films

  • Winter's Tale
  • Marley & Me
  • Walking on Sunshine
  • Glitter

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  • Dune

    ★

  • Milk

    ½

  • Incredibles 2

    ★

  • Twilight

    ★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Dune

    Dune

    ★

    The release of Dunc at my local multiplex coincided with the collapse of my metaphorical walls of Jericho: I hath ventured not into the Chodeon (Chepstow Odeon) since 2020. I saw the decade’s most superb film, Cats, before the pandemic*, and hoped to preserve the memory for as long as possible.

    Anyway, as I sat down for the screening, I was met by a sudden case of Xerostomia, also known as dry mouth, which soon spread to my extremities. It’s…

  • Milk

    Milk

    ½

    I popped on the VHS of Milk on a lonely Sunday night after misinterpreting my shopping list for my film watchlist. Let me just say that was an egregious mistake, the likes of which I shall never repeat! I was expecting the cinematic equivalent of a calcium-rich midnight pick-me-up, but Lord Nelson’s Trousers! This was a journey straight to bummer town USA! Talk about a Milk Dud. Both the film and the drink are incredibly white and opaque, but that’s…

Popular reviews

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  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey

    ★★★★½

    People have tried to pin down the formula for a masterpiece, but so far all attempts have failed. Cue Fifty Shades of Grey. It’s like they bludgeoned out all the worst bits of Twilight and used the remains to make something even better. The strongest themes of Stephenie Baeyer's masterpiece are resonated here - the misogyny, superficiality and total lack of storyline amount to what can only be the greatest film since Transformers 4. One thing I don't want to…

  • Transformers: Age of Extinction

    Transformers: Age of Extinction

    ★★★★★

    If someone had told me six months ago that a completely flawless film would be made I would have laughed in their face and possibly kicked them for good measure. However, Transformers: Age of Extinction defies the boundaries of human achievement and delivers something so incredible its perfection cannot be put into words. The perfect mix of elements combine to create a true spectacle - one that I will never forget.
    Michael Bae and Matt Damon are the tip of…