Jack :)

Jack :) Patron

I contain multitudes 
(one of which is a heavy dose of recency bias)

Favorite films

  • Spun
  • A Bride for Rip Van Winkle
  • Ritual
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Recent activity

  • Poor Things


  • Cruising


  • The Iron Claw


  • Priscilla


Recent reviews

  • Cruising



    Cruising movie notes 

    Okay I low key didn’t know al Pacino was an actor I thought he was in the mafia like… Pablo Escobar. But his body is craaaazyyyy!! Would smash. Oh wait. That wasn’t al Pacino. Turns out I don’t know who he is at all, not even by face. I guess he’s still attractive enough though. Because the killer and I have a similar type. SOMEONE PLEASE HAVE SEX WITH ME 😭😭😭😭😭

    >I loved when it got artsy…

  • The Iron Claw

    The Iron Claw


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Umm it wasn’t sad because literally everything bad that happened was preventable and I’m a victim blamer and suicide is so cringe 

    This really is the virgin suicides for boys

    Wigs bad + the father sucked (was a good actor tho) + Zach low key botched and kinda looks like my dad ? + I have a crush on mike 

    I have a lot that I could say ab this film but I don’t wanna waste my time :)

Popular reviews

  • Barbie



    Okay I’m on so much K so I’m either totally off the mark or about to speak the ultimate truth… 
    This is kind of like if Lars Von Trier & Olivia Wilde directed a movie together and it kind of worked (think The House That Jack Built X Don’t Worry Darling but like funny family friendly vibes)

    GAF about the long ass Ken song & the montage scene was NOT moving (like sorry I’m not the type of person to cry to…

  • Bottoms



    Yes I watched this two days in a row. It was that good. And yes I watched sitting next to the director, emma fucking seligman. What a dope experience. We talked a bit beforehand she’s so lovely.