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  • Dr. Mabuse, the Gambler

    Dr. Mabuse, the Gambler

    ★★★★

    dr mabuse dr mabuse
    if life were a train he'd be the caboose
    his drink of choice is probably chartreuse
    this four hour film is far from abuse
    two types of angles: acute and obtuse
    the singular of gosling is just a goose
    the singular of moose is still just moose
    my favorite kind of tree is not the spruce
    the king of the gods is that bitch zeus

    this started out as a cruella de vil parody but i just got lost in trying to make as many rhymes as possible.

  • Die Nibelungen: Kriemhilds Rache

    Die Nibelungen: Kriemhilds Rache

    ★★★★

    hey fritz, epic fucking shit, bro. keep it up.

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  • The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

    ★★★★★

    Sharkboy and Lavagirl are an expression of Max's bisexuality

  • Peter Rabbit

    Peter Rabbit

    ★★½

    When you have the premise of "Domhnall Gleeson tries to kill James Corden", it is a bad idea to not have the film end with Domhnall Gleeson actually killing James Corden. I wanted to see James Corden's rabbit corpse hacked to pieces by an insane Domhnall Gleeson but instead I just got extreme mediocrity. You have failed me yet again, Sony.