Jurassic World Dominion

Jurassic World Dominion ★½

So, Martin Scorsese infamously said that the MCU movies weren't cinema, and called them just theme park attractions (please don't click away yet, I'm going somewhere). And, while I absolutely adore Scorsese and all his work, I had a hard time totally agreeing with the sentiment. Yes, they aren't arthouse films and don't exactly feature much depth, but the beauty of cinema is in its broadness, and that the big blockbusters are equally part of the canon as the smallest indie film.

And, they do still inspire. It must be worth something that so many people enrolled in film majors are people who adore and want to make films like those (no matter how depressing that may be to some of us). And, something that is at least somewhat admirable about the MCU is that it does seem to have a care for and understanding of its audience. Yes, their main goal is to make money, but it knows the best way to do that is to build, maintain, and ultimately please its own fanbase. It cares about itself the way the fans do and wants to maintain that image.

Every criticism that has been lobbied against the MCU is one that can equally be lobbied against the Jurassic World franchise, and in this case, I have no such defense for it. There is such an emptiness within this whole franchise. While I can see some sort of admiration or passion within the MCU for itself, no matter how egotistical it might be, there is still something there to grab onto. Jurassic World has none of that.

There are three ways you could make a film like this, and make it somewhat "good", whatever that term may mean. You could:

A) Make a good movie. Make a movie that is artistically fulfilling, filled to the brim with interesting themes and ideas, passionate craftwork, talented artistry. Something that makes people proud that they went to the movies.

B) Make a good Jurassic Park/World movie. Make something that builds on the source material before it in an interesting way and gives itself a purpose to exist in the first place outside of being just a cash cow. Something that makes people proud to be a fan of the franchise.

C) Make a good dinosaur movie. Just show a bunch of fucking dinosaurs crashing into each other. Something stupid but ultimately fun. Something that makes people proud to have eyes and ears so that they can see something cool.

While the best choice is to pick all three, try to make something that can cater to everyone, even picking just one of them lets me know that you care about your audience, you value them at least as a customer, if not as a human being with thoughts and feelings.

But no. None of that is present. Whoever is behind the scenes of these movies fails to understand that you can actually make more money by making something that is "good". That making a "good" movie means people will want to watch your movie multiple times and then purchase it again later, and purchase more tickets, and purchase the streaming service with your movie, and purchase the box-set with your movie.

But no. Instead, it just does the absolute barest minimum to make you *think* it is hitting any of those "good" movie standards while not actually doing fucking anything. There's an occasional good shot or scene, but most of the movie is just fucking bland and boring and tiresome. There are some references and callbacks (plus the original trio is back!), but they never amount to fucking anything outside of just "ha! ha! thing i recognize from better movie! (and I swear to god Jeff Goldblum was never on the same set as any of the other actors in this movie). You have dinosaurs on screen, sometimes? But rarely do they get to do anything fucking interesting or cool. The only times they do get scenes, they're always just shrouded in darkness, not to add any kind of fear or tension, but in order to hide the bad CGI.

This movie is not a good movie. It is not a good Jurassic Park movie. It is not a good dinosaur movie. There are maybe good moments, good actors (DeWanda Wise and BD Wong, namely), but there is no fucking reality in which I could ever classify this movie, or this trilogy, as good.

And the worst, most depressing part is:

None of this matters.

None of what I said is gonna affect anything.

The crowd I saw this with fucking loved it.

It's still gonna make a billion fucking dollars at the box office.

There's probably a Jurassic World 4 on the way.

Nothing matters.

I have not given up hope in cinema, but this film really makes me want to.

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