Jordan Starkweather

I spend too much time collecting old TVs and 
giving 5-star reviews to horror movies.

Favorite films

  • From Beyond
  • The Seventh Curse
  • Superfights
  • Phenomena

Recent activity

All
  • Hack-O-Lantern

    ★★½

  • Final Destination

    ★★★½

  • Gamera vs. Zigra

    ★★★

  • The Babysitter

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • Hack-O-Lantern

    Hack-O-Lantern

    ★★½

    Trash. Absolute garbage. Loved it!

  • Final Destination

    Final Destination

    ★★★½

    I enjoyed this a lot! When I learned it was a rejected X-Files script, everything suddenly clicked and it honestly drew me in more as I tried to picture how the episode itself would have played out. I couldn’t handle these everyday object deaths as a kid though and I still can’t. An anxious person’s worst nightmare.

Popular reviews

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  • Nope

    Nope

    ★★★★★

    Peele’s best, easily. As soon as I realized what I was watching, I was physically vibrating for the remainder of the runtime. The themes upon themes build and expand throughout every minute of the runtime, broadening and deepening what somehow remains Peele’s most straightforward and approachable horror film. Hollywood was built on cruelty and exploitation from the beginning. But also wonder. Dangerous, deadly wonder.

    Also, anyone who told you this isn’t a horror movie fuckin LIED DUDE

  • Barbarian

    Barbarian

    ★★★★

    Absolutely dripping in PS2 survival horror vibes. I liked this a lot despite it not being as fresh an idea as I was expecting. It walks the tightrope of tension really well and somehow also manages to be surprisingly funny? Overall the excellent direction, impactful themes, and a few killer gore effects help it beat out a couple of elements I thought were a little tired. Stuart Gordon would have loved this shit.


    Oh, and fuck Ronald Regan.

Following

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